Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
