Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The feeling are messing with the penis
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
