the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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