White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
