Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize