I think my vagina is haunted
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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