3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
