how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
