So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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