i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
