In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
