Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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