whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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