Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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