somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Michael Bay diarrhea
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
