if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
