hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
