Yo dont text me then not text me
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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