thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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