the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize