Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
