That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
