I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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