I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
