You're so nebulous sometimes
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
