did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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