he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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