I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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