All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
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When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
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Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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