Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
