i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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