Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
