I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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