living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
