About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
