i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gargled with NyQuil
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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