I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
