maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
