just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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