oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't watch enough power rangers
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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