Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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