HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize