i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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