The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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