I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
