I could have mohawked her pubes.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
