can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
