In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
