sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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