we have pet lesbian snakes
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
