god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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