I didn't shave. On purpose
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
