I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize