you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she smelled like a LAN party
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Randomize
