well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
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So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
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I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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