Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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