You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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