Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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