what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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