He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
