i just wanna soil my oats bro
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
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I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Also, beer. Big fan.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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