Where did you get a picture of my penis
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
