they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
