Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
