Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
