I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
