Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just found puke in my bra..
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
