i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
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He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
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I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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