I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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