never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
