Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
