your thong is hanging out like whoa
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
