Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
