How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
