so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
