You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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