i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
